Have you heard the saying “If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail”?.....well I have not prepared any ideas for this blog, I am just writing it because I know my public miss me…..I hope I do not disappoint you.
First I thought about sharing another recipe with you but last week was rather a strange time on the culinary frontier…..half the family was away so I purchased a big joint of gammon and decided to see how far I could make it go. On Monday we had ‘Honey & Mustard Roast Gammon’ with cabbage and apples. Tuesday was ‘Savory Gammon & Vegetable Rice’…..Wednesday saw the invention of the revolutionary ‘Gammon Bolognese’…..and finally Thursday’s treat was ‘Gammon Rolls with Home Made Apple Sauce’ and a side salad…..so there, that goes to show that Tottenham fans are partial to a bit of piggy meat from time to time…..but never fear, I am planning on making a ‘Fish Head Curry’ very soon (once I have finalised the recipe) and if all goes well I will share the recipe with you…..my family still think I am winding them up whenever I mention the ‘Fish Head Curry’.You could be excused for thinking that I had abandoned my blog in favour of a meteoric pub crawl, first to drown my sorrows after Spurs lost to Pompey in the FA Cup Semi-Final and then in sheer jubilation after seeing Tottenham beat both Arsenal and Chelsea in the same week…..in fact, I quite like the idea of you thinking that I have such a reckless side to my character…..but in reality I watched the trio of games from the safety of my own home consuming nothing stronger than Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles!
Now I think about it, quite a bit has happened since my last blog entry…..not much in terms of ‘life as you know it’ but as far as my ‘synthetic existence’ is concerned…..well “It’s been emotional”.
After losing all hope of ever finding a job I was at one of my lowest ebbs, mainly because I felt starved of any hope…..but as Jeff Goldblum said in Jurassic Park “Life finds a way”…..and that is kind of what happened. Whoa there! Steady! No…..I haven’t got a job, actually I’m not even close to getting one…..but what I have got is an idea, in fact I have got lots of ideas so I decided to share one with someone who I thought ‘Maybe, Just Maybe’ might be able to help me…..no, not Terry Venables! I fully expected to get a knock back, not because I do not have faith in my ideas but because I do not have faith in people to recognise the potential in my ideas, however this time my lack of faith was misguided. Anyway the up shot of my new found belief if that someone does like my idea and instead of me finding a job for myself I might actually be able to create one! Anyway that’s enough optimism for now, so in the immortal words of ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin “That’s all I got to say about that!”…..besides I need to save all my optimism for Tottenham’s dream of finishing 4th in the Premier League!
Talking of dreams…..last night I had one of them dreams that I wish I never awoke from…..but luckily for you, my blog reading bum chums, I did wake up…..but I’m not going to tell you what the dream was about.
Now for more urgent matters…..’Married, Single, Other’ or ‘MSO’ as my friend who worked on the show refers to it…..now that is name dropping without actually dropping a name! Did you watch it? To be honest, after watching all 6 episodes of ‘MSO’ back to back, it’s nothing short of a miracle that I am here today writing this…..it would have only taken a ‘brown’ rather than a ‘golden’ slice of toast or a cup of tea made by putting the milk in the cup before the water to send me over the edge. If I had a job I would have defiantly been signed off for the week with depression by my doctor (they’ll do anything for a score these GP’s, sick notes, temazepam, rectal examinations…..gotta love the NHS). Seriously though, what a heart breaking TV show…..trust ITV to come up with the most depressing programme in the history of the world while Great Britain struggles to recover from the midst of the most severe recession since Ant McPartlin’s hairline…..whey to go ITV! Don’t get me wrong, this was a really good series but as good as it was it was also extraordinarily sad which precipitated to make the series bad…..does that make sense? ITV won favour by creating some very likeable characters but ultimately that proved to be the problem. The golden rule of farming livestock is ‘do not name the animals’ because they are cute enough as it is and giving them an identity and becoming attached makes the process of slaughtering the little piggies and lambs a very harrowing experience.
ITV have obviously not done much farming recently…..Babs, Dickie, Clint, Abbey, Eddie, Lillie, Harry, Gina and Joe…..ideal names for a bunch of soft, cuddly and loveable little farm animals…..and ITV decided to torture and slaughter them in the metaphorical abattoirs that were the living rooms of the entire nation. ‘Married, Single, Other’ really had the potential to be a fantastically uplifting show but the writers got it all wrong……did Lillie really need to die? Couldn’t that have happened in series 6 or something? Did that slut Fabiana really have to come along and ruin the lives of Babs, Dickie, Clint and Abbey before we got the chance to enjoy even a bit of their happy (only for 1 episode) relationships? Even ‘Hazza’ (Harry) and Gina were left stewing in a pot of teenage hormones without a spoon to enjoy it! But at least I can sleep easy at night knowing that brainiac Joe will find a way to save humanity ‘if’ someone forgets to plug in Stephen Hawking or ‘when’ Brian Cox decides to desert the BBC in order to become a roadie for the Rolling Stones ‘last’ World Tour in 2045.
Talking of our two great scientists…..no not Mick and Keith, Stephen and Brian…..I’m sure I am right in thinking that they believe in the ‘many worlds’ interpretation of quantum mechanics where there are an infinite number of worlds in which anything and everything is possible. For example there is a world where the meteorite didn’t crash into Chicxulub 65.5 million years ago and wipe out the dinosaurs and they are still roaming the Earth…..or a world where every single thing is exactly as it is right here now on Earth, apart from I have a job…..OK that one is a bit farfetched but my point is this: Why don’t ITV make another series of Married, Single, Other starting from exactly the same point as the beginning of Series 1, Episode 1 but take things in a different direction like Lillie not getting punched in the head and dying…..go on ITV try doing something right for once…..Imagine a world where ITV is a good TV channel!Harry Federchi.
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